Fw: mind waves

As my only mind unfolds, it unloads details of joys, pains & drama from my past & present! But not the future it hasn't been yet sent! So journey with me from back then to right now & I'll tell you how I spent some of my short life! I really thought it was real easy & my duty pleasing others! looking out for there well being, their feelings! Delicately dealing with them yearly! Putting mines on hold, on the back burners I would say "if they happy I be happy" I had a perception that, I had to engulf myself like this! But(Thinking) what about my own sence of happiness that was supposed to be provided to me from within! So until then love was so far, so distant who was I kidding, thought I was good, pretending all those years to be happy! But I've been persistent in causing many tears,(my
own) not knowing it was mistakes through ignorance!(my own) Taking for granted through insecurities & curiosity! A scrip to a film a play & the director who always yell cut! "Let's do another take" & I can't wake up from this bad dream over & over It seems to keep reoccuring! life can't be that mean, but life was just my teacher! Whom I payed attention to and WOKE UP! I let it raise my human antennas, I let it raid my mind waves, I learn what to start doing! I stopped being that fool! All the way through to my heart to the soul so I started knowing HOW! & WHAT! And especially WHEN! To react to certain problem & situations! Like not tolerating things that will make me unhappy! Like standing my ground on issues of my manhood! Like a man should! If you suspect & don't believe in me then leave me!(My motto) I'm not trying to secure anyone that's not secure them self! Thats a hard road to
go down, I know every one can't be smooth there have to be bumps! Dips in the highway of life, love! But if you keep rolling down that same raggerty route you gonna mess up your tires! And hours upon hours will be lost fixing them, and the cost? Years Of resentment! One of the reasons anger is pent up!(In me) Because that highway takes you to the interstate leading to hates-ville! There is always pot holes, oil spills! A dangerous atmosphere filled with fear! A never trusting state to be in! Especially after one has escaped from there!!
Oct 12th 09
JAMES E. LAMB III
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